Letting Go in Mexico

25 years since my last international adventure…I know, crazy, but there’s a very good reason and that’s a story for another time (find it in my upcoming book released later this year!).

I have found Mexico to be magnetic, magical, mysterious.

Full of contrasts and contradictions, and I’ve seen just a small part.

These past two weeks have been a practice in letting go for me, from the moment I left home in Melbourne.

A practice of trust, allowing life to keep showing me it wants to bring me more goodness, more synchronicities, more beauty and surprises. That I am worthy.

It has been an experience of myself against unfamiliar backdrops that couldn’t help but highlight the parts of me I want to continue to be and expand, and the parts of me it’s time to release. Those parts of me that have done their best to protect, but in their best attempts to be stoic they have separated me from love, soulful knowing and the desires for which I yearn.

Yearning. It’s becoming a feeling I am embracing. It feels vulnerable and open and terrifying and enlivening.

Yearn, an intense longing. But to yearn with self-sovereignty, so that it doesn’t feel needy, rather like an open and ready heart without attachment to what comes.

Ready for life, ready for love, ready for connection and my fullest expression.

I came on this Mexican adventure with no expectations - just getting on the plane was a momentus milestone. The act of committing to myself and following through on something I was terrified to do.

In 12 years of my business, I’ve never taken a 2 week holiday. There have been countless holidays booked and then cancelled. Booked telling myself I should go, that’s what people do, but pulling back at the last moment, because it felt forced and I knew the push was not going to bring me the experience I wanted. I knew I would return with the same deep sense of disconnection because the answers would not be found on another continent.

The time had only come now because 7 months ago I came up against a very personal moment that challenged me to my depths.

And it was a choice of change or…. Actually I don’t really think there was a choice.

I just knew I couldn’t bring with me who I’d been, I didn’t really know who that was but I did know with my whole being that I had to change if I wanted the life that lived inside my heart.

So with the support of a select few and trusted people I got to work, going deeper than ever before, peeling away the layers that had overshadowed my spirit.

It was gut wrenching, excruciating, painful and liberating. I have been in personal transformation for 25 years and it is my profession, and yet there was still more for me to learn about my own limitations.

Always.

In the work I was doing I was becoming truly free. Freeing myself from my own analytical, fearful prison, from the blame and separation, from the hurt and isolation.

As I leave this magnetic country today I’m present to the power and importance of relationship.

The people in our lives who love us and we love. The people we cherish and are challenged by. The people who show up when we need to take the next leap.

And most of all the people we want to be around more. When we make a practice and a life of giving, which many of us do, we cannot do it without the people who see us, believe in us and want the best for us. These are the people I want to adventure through life with.

Mexico, you had me at Hola. X