Asking a self-driven man to slow down doesn’t work.

But supporting and assisting his reconnection to his deep heart, helps him open the doorway to the stillness and freedom he’s been fighting for all these years.

Mindfulness is not about slowing down, it’s about speeding up. New results, requires new actions, needs new thinking. But where does this new thinking come from? From a mind full of yesterday’s troubles, of tomorrow’s worries, of continually solving other people’s problems?

Fast moving leaders who rarely look behind them, find slowing down to make sure their team are up to speed, a drain on their energy. Logical leaders who wish their teams would think like they do, find taking time to talk about feelings, a drain on their energy.

Holding people accountable to their responsibilities, commitments and agreed expectations, does not require force, coercion, dominance or pleading. It does not require control, manipulation or hours of procrastination.

I have the privilege of speaking quite often with men about vulnerability. Men who have achieved a level of success in their lives, who are enjoying the fruits of their labour. Though, silently, not quite as much as they once did.

At some point in the leadership journey, most leaders realise they need help refining their ‘people skills’, but many are reluctant, or bury themselves in denial.

The reason stand alone behavioural training workshops don’t really train is that they don’t undo the three, four or more decades of conditioning we’ve been exposed to.

Learning from a young age not to stand out, that the world appreciates her more when she’s nice. Caring more about how others see her, than how she sees herself.

When leaders drive their teams toward a result, without concerning themselves with how that result is being achieved, the damage to be rectified long after the result has been forgotten, is costly to everyone.

When people turn up to work every day, they come with everything that’s made them who they are to this point. Their triumphs and victories, their failures and pain points.

Suspecting the business needs us to change to inspire stronger performance, makes no difference if we aren’t willing to let go of our silent judgements and opinions of our people.

No matter how transformational the coaching, UNLESS the environment makes a shift to support the positive growth, the new thinking and behaviour will eventually shrink back to some version of what it was before.

Leaders often focus on changing behaviour. What seems like laziness or is measured as disengagement is more the byproduct than the cause. Being curious about what’s driving the behaviour is critical to sustaining change.

Vulnerability is the doorway to trust, deeper engagement, inspired and interdependent collaboration and expanded contribution to results. With engagement at work in Australia at 24%, according to Gallup, it's clear business is missing opportunities.

Leaders who excel at driving results, often drive their people the same way. That’s how they work. But it can have a polarising effect, motivating some and completely disempowering others.

Leaders must be supported to invest time and interest in building relationships with their people, long before difficulty arises. Encouraged to look beyond personalities and problems to connect, communicate and empower with awareness and emotional maturity.

EQ allows us to realise that none of us are perfect, that we’re more often concerned with ourselves than each other, and as human beings we’re more the same than different.

Mindfulness is bringing our ‘full minds’ to what we’re doing. Not our distracted minds, not our blaming minds, not our justifying minds. Our full minds. You know how it feels when someone is really listening to you.