When we live from our hearts we have no interest in comparing ourselves to what anyone else is doing or what we think we should be doing. We let go our expectations and judgments of ourselves and others, and get on with creating in a way that inspires us from the inside out.

Bigger questions are being asked than we dared ask before, more demands are being made than we once considered ourselves worthy of making, and expectations are heightened beyond what we ever considered were fair to expect.

But all of that belongs to the old way, the old paradigm of leadership.... and it's no longer enough to meet the outcomes that business, community and economies are forecasting and the practices people are seeking.

That moment was a catalyst that catapulted me toward wanting to understand more deeply what made human beings tick, and the difference between what was going on inside a person to how they were perceived on the outside.

Neuroscience tells us that after the age of 35 we are 95% unconscious as we go about our day, living our lives based on a memorised set of behaviours, emotional reactions, habits, attitudes and beliefs.

Every person you meet is hiding behind some kind of mask. Hiding pieces of themselves they don't want you to see. A part of their identity they've decided won't be liked, accepted or welcomed by you or the tribe they want to belong to.

There's no denying busy is part of our day to day life, but if a busy mindset becomes a chronic condition, your team might look like they're moving when in fact they're comfortably treading water.

As leaders, our job is to hold the light of the future, make it so bright and clear and compelling that our people want to give their absolute best, follow us into treacherous territory (if needed) and eventually take over the lead.

If you've ever attempted to improve someone's performance by training them in a new skill or attitude, only to return the following week to find they've reverted back to doing things the way they always have, you'll know the frustration of focusing on the wrong thing.

Through coaching women and men in leadership for many years, I have learned that while there are significant differences between how we feel, how we process those feelings and how we connect, there are also significant similarities in what we seek and yearn.

If being self-aware and being masterful at self-management (the first two skills of EQ), relies on us being in-tune with how we feel, it’s obvious that the biggest barrier to self-awareness is our resistance to feelings.

As this distinction of feminine energy unfolded for me further, I realised how much I’d been limiting myself and working hard to overcompensate for innate qualities I wasn’t tapping into.

Those who suggest someone be more assertive, are usually very comfortable asserting themselves.

But, alone, such skills can be as detrimental to progress as not speaking up at all.

So, who is it really that’s causing the inefficiencies, the rework, the roadblocks between functions, all the unclear expectations, the wrong product going to market, the delay in delivery and customer dissatisfaction?

At the ‘controlling’ end of the pendulum, we invest energy, focus and determination into ensuring things are perfect, trying to make things happen by directing, telling and project managing everyone and everything.

Effective accountability conversations are near to absent in the workplace. In my experience it’s the area most leaders and managers are disempowered, no matter how experienced, intelligent or passionate they are.

If you’re an over-thinker, perfectionist, relentless striver or people pleaser (which covers just about all of us), then the self-criticism is never far from the surface. Gritty little self-talk like…

Effective accountability conversations are near to absent in the workplace. In my experience it’s the area most leaders and managers are disempowered, no matter how experienced, intelligent or passionate they are.